Well, that's about all the spanish I'll use for now, since it's pretty close to all I know.
I arrived yesterday at around 2:25 local time, which is actually central time, so no adjustment there. Let me tell you all about it.
I set out at approximately 2:15 am from my house in New Franklin and got to the airport about 4:30ish, in time to get my luggage checked and get ready for security. Went through security with no problems or hassles, arrived at around 7:30 in Chicago. Waited around in O'hare for about 3 hours, took off a little bit late, not too bad though, at around 11 on our way to Miami. I fell asleep on the way, and woke up to our captain saying "miami airport has opened back up, we will land probably in the next 20 minutes"--which meant at some point it was closed....due to thunderstorms. After being in the holding pattern another few minutes, we diverted to fort myers and landed, waited another hour or so, and took off again for miami. I got off the plane there at 5:04, 4 minutes after my plane left for Panama.
I then walked miles around the airport to find a service center where I was printed a boarding pass for the 11:30 flight the next day, as well as given a discounted rate for a one night stay in the ramada inn. So, thus, I got all that lined out, and went the wrong way several times, finally getting on the shuttle van, and making it to the hotel. From there I checked in, went upstairs and came back down to eat..Then went back up and passed out at 8:30 central time. I slept pretty well, until 2:15 local time when the neighbors were "wrestling", then went back to bed. Got up at 7:00, showered with my one extra shirt and pair of undees and got back on the shuttle, arriving quite early for my flight. Chilled in Miami International for around 4 hours, took off, and alas, I made it.
Now for other stuff.....
I have spoken to some churches and family, and believe I'll get some support for being down here, although I know God will provide enough for me, no matter what. Apparently Randy told some of the kids I played baseball really well, and so the whole school knows and awaits the arrival of the tall gringo. So, we'll see if I live up to my legend.
I live in a room that is around 12 feet by 10, with a window AC Unit, which i'm stoked about, I can sleep in comfort at least.
Today at around 3:00 i'm leaving for a bible camp that is out by the beach, where me, whitney (a girl from wyoming also teaching at the school), Glendon (a friend of the weets who is 21) and Jonathan (the oldest boy of the missionaries) are going to go fellowship with the youth, and take in some good preaching, none of which I will probably understand :). I'm trying on the spanish, it's just going to take time. We will stay the night, go to church there, and come back tomorrow afternoon.
After that, i'm out to school on monday, wearing a shirt and tie, and ready to rock. It should be a pretty exciting day.
So, other than that, just be praying that i stay focused and that I keep my mind and heart focused on the reason i'm here, not the things and diversions that God has created.
Love you guys, that's about it for now!
As for you who went on the trip with me in december...david is still living here, and is in the house with me, after being here nearly 12 hours, he hasn't so much as looked at me, and hasn't said a word...I just think it's funny/awkward. He's great though. You all take care....
-Zach
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Librarian Part 2...the sequel
So, I am back in the library for a half day, and I again, can't get around the firewall, nor want to try, so here I sit with nothing really pressing me, so I figured I'd write in here again.
In the past week I have bought my plane ticket...385 bucks for a one way to Panama City, it's also non-refundable, which means I'm either going, or losing that money, so i'm going :)
Had some enjoyable experiences last week, including a trip to Allendale Missouri to Old Town Cafe, it was good stuff, you can never go wrong with a little chicken fried steak and potatoes. On to more spiritual matters....
I'm trying to get on task with raising a little support and have found peace in that. The missionary's wife emailed me saying that really I wont be left out in the rain, but that I should use this as an opportunity to speak to people about what God is doing in my life, and also give them the opportunity to serve on mission with me. We had a bible study in Phillipians last week, we finished it, and so we were in chapter 4.
God spoke to me through verses 14-19 "Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit. I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having recieved from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"
In this passage, Paul just got done talking about how he was content with surplus and with nothing, that he had learned that. I love that he says in verse 14 that he doesn't seek the gift himself, but only the fruit for the people who do it. By giving them the opportunity to give, they are bearing fruit, and storing up treasures in heaven.
So, i have tried to incorporate this heart when raising support. I do need the support, but I know that God will provide whatever is missing if I am called there. So that's one thing God has taught me in the past week.
Other than that, I realized at church yesterday as Pastor Paul was preaching on prayer, that my passion for God, the amount I pray and read the word is pretty sparse right now. Not that I'm being really disobedient, but i'm definitely not sharp, not sensitive to sin and at times apathetic, all this for a guy who is headed to panama in roughly a month. So today I picked up the word and decided to study 1 Timothy, Pauls letter to his "child in the faith." One verse that stuck out to me today was in chapter 1 verse 16...just after Paul says he was the worst of sinners, he gives us the reason why God saved him: "that in me, as the foremost sinner, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life."
So, Paul says that the reason Christ's grace rests upon him is to show all believers that if God will save him, and have patience and grace towards him, then he can on anyone.
I just love the character of God that we see revealed in scripture. What a God we serve!
In the past week I have bought my plane ticket...385 bucks for a one way to Panama City, it's also non-refundable, which means I'm either going, or losing that money, so i'm going :)
Had some enjoyable experiences last week, including a trip to Allendale Missouri to Old Town Cafe, it was good stuff, you can never go wrong with a little chicken fried steak and potatoes. On to more spiritual matters....
I'm trying to get on task with raising a little support and have found peace in that. The missionary's wife emailed me saying that really I wont be left out in the rain, but that I should use this as an opportunity to speak to people about what God is doing in my life, and also give them the opportunity to serve on mission with me. We had a bible study in Phillipians last week, we finished it, and so we were in chapter 4.
God spoke to me through verses 14-19 "Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit. I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having recieved from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"
In this passage, Paul just got done talking about how he was content with surplus and with nothing, that he had learned that. I love that he says in verse 14 that he doesn't seek the gift himself, but only the fruit for the people who do it. By giving them the opportunity to give, they are bearing fruit, and storing up treasures in heaven.
So, i have tried to incorporate this heart when raising support. I do need the support, but I know that God will provide whatever is missing if I am called there. So that's one thing God has taught me in the past week.
Other than that, I realized at church yesterday as Pastor Paul was preaching on prayer, that my passion for God, the amount I pray and read the word is pretty sparse right now. Not that I'm being really disobedient, but i'm definitely not sharp, not sensitive to sin and at times apathetic, all this for a guy who is headed to panama in roughly a month. So today I picked up the word and decided to study 1 Timothy, Pauls letter to his "child in the faith." One verse that stuck out to me today was in chapter 1 verse 16...just after Paul says he was the worst of sinners, he gives us the reason why God saved him: "that in me, as the foremost sinner, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life."
So, Paul says that the reason Christ's grace rests upon him is to show all believers that if God will save him, and have patience and grace towards him, then he can on anyone.
I just love the character of God that we see revealed in scripture. What a God we serve!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thoughts of a substitute librarian....
So, here I am, in the "media center" of Maryville High school. I currently have one student helping out, and a teacher in on the computers, and it might be the busiest this place gets all day.
Today is the last FCA meeting of the year, and my last one as a "leader." I also have the privilege to speak tonight.
I thought for a while on what I would talk about, but really after praying once a verse popped into my head, Acts 20:24 which says: "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
So, as I read in context the verses from 17-24, I also found this was an account of Paul sitting down with His elders from Ephesus as he worked his way back to Jerusalem. I listened to commentary from Jon Courson (http://www.joncourson.com/) and also a sermon from John Piper (http://www.desiringgod.org/). I found that there was so much in this little passage that I didn't see, but which also further confirmed this is what I should talk about.
Tonight i'm also sharing my testimony...and since you can't really make me stop, i'm going to give it today on here as well.
Going back to being really young I attended a Baptist church. Sunday after sunday I was put there, against my will, crawling under pews and doing disgusting things to my brother. On a good sunday we would have around 20 people come and hear the message. We did get a younger pastor who had 4 sons, and he offered to bring us all into town and have whoever baptized that wanted it. During an altercall to do so, i went forward after my younger brother did it. I was 11, but the conviction of the Holy Spirit was not really felt at that time. I still go back and forth as to whether this was the time I was saved, or later on. Continuing on...
Throughout high school i was watching my baseball career flourish, and remained pretty "moral" and also judged everyone around me who wasn't. I was valedictorian and someone who thought pretty well of himself. The problem was, i was in bondage to pornography, and really wasn't aware of it, because I never read my Bible. Church still wasn't important to me. Christ was definitely not anywhere close to first. But nevertheless, i graduated in 2004. I went to Northwest on a baseball scholarship and remember move in day being one of both excitement and also fear, but soon I found myself comfortable there. I went to the BSU (Baptist Student Union) opening barbeque and met some girls I thought were really cute, which really started to change my view of life, funny as it is.
I began to get involved with Bible studies and attend weekly and really began to see just how little I really knew about the faith I proclaimed I was. I continued in sin that fall with little conviction, although I always knew there was something wrong about it, but didn't really know what.
I went home for christmas break freshman year, where I learned my parents were getting divorced. It was quite a shocker, but I was able to endure the break, and escape back to Maryville, and continue in both sin and selfishness as well as self righteousness. I did begin to read my bible everyday, and read through the new testament that spring. All the while baseball was going well, and I was still using God as a good luck charm as much as anything, although, I believed.
Fast forward, after being invited to join FCA leadership sophomore year, i began to take a more serious look at my life, knowing I was in a position I needed to be solid, so I became like a sponge, trying to soak in all the information I could from the older leaders. I was still in sin though...going periods without lusting, but more so lusting than not, with frustration, conviction, and just desperation to get rid of it.
That went on, and I weathered some injuries and was demoted from a starter to a reliever on the baseball team, which really didn't sit well with me, and I griped a lot and definitely wasn't the model Christian on the baseball team as far as contentment.
The next huge thing in my life was over Christmas Break in Tucson Arizona in december of 2007. As we were vacationing, I began to feel this sense of depression. I began to think morbid thoughts like "what if God doesn't exist?" "is this it?" and really couldn't eat for a couple days. I remember having my Bible with me and pulled out 2 corinthians 1:3-4. I held fast to the fact that God was a God of comfort, all the while bearing a huge weight on my heart. I remember praying in the bathroom of the hotel with tears streaming asking God where he was.
God slowly began to show me what this was all about. I wasn't living at all for Him. My life had no purpose other than to suit myself and keep myself comfortable. At a pretty fast pace, God began to make me extremely hungry for the word and also for righteousness. I began to see life as it truly is, a vapor, and realizing that the only way to live was not for my own sake, but for a higher calling, which is in Jesus Christ. I became bold, and began to be able to recite scripture just from digging in the word daily. I made it my mission to learn the word, and not just read it. God actually allowed me to read through the entire Bible from February 2008 to February 2009. It changed my life!
All the while I was being fed with powerful sermons from John Piper, Jon Courson and Paul Washer, revealing my hypocrisy. I felt so convicted I wanted to throw up and literally hurt myself for the pain I was causing myself, God and others. It was sickening. But through that, God has been faithful. I've seen a huge shift. I no longer WANT to do the things that God hates, although, admittedly, it happens sometimes. I hate it when I sin now, and also still have passion to see the world reached.
Another great thing that has happened, is I began to go on mission trips and see God work and feel what it must have felt like to be on mission with God back in the early days of Christianity (minus the whole martyrdom part). It became addicting and I knew that I needed to make this part of my life. I saw how expectant I was for God to move on mission trips, and realized that I should be that way ALL THE TIME.
So, here I am, graduated from college, single, without debt, with very little money, and a heart open to serve God. I have been trying to get a job here in the states to teach and coach, but the offers haven't come. I have prayed over working for FCA full time, but don't feel comfortable with that either, so at last, I feel called back to Panama City, Panama to teach english and help with the Church. If you would have asked my 19,20,21 year old self if I would ever do this, I would have told you no way. But God works in mysterious ways.
I feel a since of freedom not to sin, a freedom to pursue Christ with all I have, and let him direct the way i'll go, and I'm telling you, there is no greater feeling. It was for freedom that Christ set us free!
I hope you were blessed by this story, and if you come to FCA tonight, you'll here a similar version.
If you get a chance, please read and check out the links for commentary on Acts 20:17-24. You will be blessed.
Be praying for me as I seek God's will for me, and begin to wholeheartedly pursue Panama.
http://pdmorales.wetpaint.com/ Panama christian academy website
http://weetsworld.com/default.aspx Information on the Family of Missionaries I'll be working with.
Today is the last FCA meeting of the year, and my last one as a "leader." I also have the privilege to speak tonight.
I thought for a while on what I would talk about, but really after praying once a verse popped into my head, Acts 20:24 which says: "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
So, as I read in context the verses from 17-24, I also found this was an account of Paul sitting down with His elders from Ephesus as he worked his way back to Jerusalem. I listened to commentary from Jon Courson (http://www.joncourson.com/) and also a sermon from John Piper (http://www.desiringgod.org/). I found that there was so much in this little passage that I didn't see, but which also further confirmed this is what I should talk about.
Tonight i'm also sharing my testimony...and since you can't really make me stop, i'm going to give it today on here as well.
Going back to being really young I attended a Baptist church. Sunday after sunday I was put there, against my will, crawling under pews and doing disgusting things to my brother. On a good sunday we would have around 20 people come and hear the message. We did get a younger pastor who had 4 sons, and he offered to bring us all into town and have whoever baptized that wanted it. During an altercall to do so, i went forward after my younger brother did it. I was 11, but the conviction of the Holy Spirit was not really felt at that time. I still go back and forth as to whether this was the time I was saved, or later on. Continuing on...
Throughout high school i was watching my baseball career flourish, and remained pretty "moral" and also judged everyone around me who wasn't. I was valedictorian and someone who thought pretty well of himself. The problem was, i was in bondage to pornography, and really wasn't aware of it, because I never read my Bible. Church still wasn't important to me. Christ was definitely not anywhere close to first. But nevertheless, i graduated in 2004. I went to Northwest on a baseball scholarship and remember move in day being one of both excitement and also fear, but soon I found myself comfortable there. I went to the BSU (Baptist Student Union) opening barbeque and met some girls I thought were really cute, which really started to change my view of life, funny as it is.
I began to get involved with Bible studies and attend weekly and really began to see just how little I really knew about the faith I proclaimed I was. I continued in sin that fall with little conviction, although I always knew there was something wrong about it, but didn't really know what.
I went home for christmas break freshman year, where I learned my parents were getting divorced. It was quite a shocker, but I was able to endure the break, and escape back to Maryville, and continue in both sin and selfishness as well as self righteousness. I did begin to read my bible everyday, and read through the new testament that spring. All the while baseball was going well, and I was still using God as a good luck charm as much as anything, although, I believed.
Fast forward, after being invited to join FCA leadership sophomore year, i began to take a more serious look at my life, knowing I was in a position I needed to be solid, so I became like a sponge, trying to soak in all the information I could from the older leaders. I was still in sin though...going periods without lusting, but more so lusting than not, with frustration, conviction, and just desperation to get rid of it.
That went on, and I weathered some injuries and was demoted from a starter to a reliever on the baseball team, which really didn't sit well with me, and I griped a lot and definitely wasn't the model Christian on the baseball team as far as contentment.
The next huge thing in my life was over Christmas Break in Tucson Arizona in december of 2007. As we were vacationing, I began to feel this sense of depression. I began to think morbid thoughts like "what if God doesn't exist?" "is this it?" and really couldn't eat for a couple days. I remember having my Bible with me and pulled out 2 corinthians 1:3-4. I held fast to the fact that God was a God of comfort, all the while bearing a huge weight on my heart. I remember praying in the bathroom of the hotel with tears streaming asking God where he was.
God slowly began to show me what this was all about. I wasn't living at all for Him. My life had no purpose other than to suit myself and keep myself comfortable. At a pretty fast pace, God began to make me extremely hungry for the word and also for righteousness. I began to see life as it truly is, a vapor, and realizing that the only way to live was not for my own sake, but for a higher calling, which is in Jesus Christ. I became bold, and began to be able to recite scripture just from digging in the word daily. I made it my mission to learn the word, and not just read it. God actually allowed me to read through the entire Bible from February 2008 to February 2009. It changed my life!
All the while I was being fed with powerful sermons from John Piper, Jon Courson and Paul Washer, revealing my hypocrisy. I felt so convicted I wanted to throw up and literally hurt myself for the pain I was causing myself, God and others. It was sickening. But through that, God has been faithful. I've seen a huge shift. I no longer WANT to do the things that God hates, although, admittedly, it happens sometimes. I hate it when I sin now, and also still have passion to see the world reached.
Another great thing that has happened, is I began to go on mission trips and see God work and feel what it must have felt like to be on mission with God back in the early days of Christianity (minus the whole martyrdom part). It became addicting and I knew that I needed to make this part of my life. I saw how expectant I was for God to move on mission trips, and realized that I should be that way ALL THE TIME.
So, here I am, graduated from college, single, without debt, with very little money, and a heart open to serve God. I have been trying to get a job here in the states to teach and coach, but the offers haven't come. I have prayed over working for FCA full time, but don't feel comfortable with that either, so at last, I feel called back to Panama City, Panama to teach english and help with the Church. If you would have asked my 19,20,21 year old self if I would ever do this, I would have told you no way. But God works in mysterious ways.
I feel a since of freedom not to sin, a freedom to pursue Christ with all I have, and let him direct the way i'll go, and I'm telling you, there is no greater feeling. It was for freedom that Christ set us free!
I hope you were blessed by this story, and if you come to FCA tonight, you'll here a similar version.
If you get a chance, please read and check out the links for commentary on Acts 20:17-24. You will be blessed.
Be praying for me as I seek God's will for me, and begin to wholeheartedly pursue Panama.
http://pdmorales.wetpaint.com/ Panama christian academy website
http://weetsworld.com/default.aspx Information on the Family of Missionaries I'll be working with.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Well, it's been quite a while since I posted. The Lord's been really good to me lately, teaching me a lot of things, convicting me of some things, and all for the good. We serve the LIVING GOD! Jesus Christ, It was all made through and for him. Happy Thanksgiving. The following text is from my recent FCA devotional on Campus, called "time-outs." I wrote about how God is freeing me from legalism. Hope it finds you well, and you enjoy!
-Zach
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
What about the Law?
2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
Legalism: Doing the “right things”, being self-righteous, holding people and self to a imposed and self-created standard. Scripture example: Colossians 2:23: “Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.”
Lately the Lord has really laid on my heart my struggle with legalism. I think a great word to substitute for legalism is religion. You often see the words “it’s not about religion, it’s about a relationship.” That phrase is nowhere to be found in the Bible, but it does make sense in light of what Jesus Christ was all about. In his Gospels, Jesus tells us that he didn’t come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. Many seemingly “holy” people in the day would not accept Christ, because the doctrine of Grace was just too easy. In a sense, they couldn’t believe all it took to be reconciled to God was to believe on Jesus to be forgiven. They always felt they had to bring something to the table to win God’s favor.
I know for me, legalism crept in very slowly. It started with a pure motive, to honor God in everything I did, but it quickly changed to how “holy” I could get to draw closer to God. I seemed to believe how good I was directly effected how much God would do in my life. Legalism was about me, how good I could be, how much I could do for God, and simply, a direct abuse and distortion of the Gospel. I would find myself putting people around me in a box or rules, putting them through guilt trips and rebuke, expecting them to follow the same rules I had imposed on myself. In the end, I began to break the rules I myself had set, being bound in the same prison I had created; a prison full of self-condemnation and complete slavery.
Praise be to God that the story didn’t end that way! In Galatians 5, Paul writes and says that for freedom Christ set us free, followed by telling them not to again submit to a yoke of slavery. The yoke of slavery is the law. If we are worried about keeping all the rules, then we lose sight of what being a disciple of Jesus Christ is all about. Jesus tells us that the greatest commandments are to love the Lord with all you have and to love others as yourself. He later instructs us that through those two commandments everything else falls into place. (Matthew 22:36-40)
When we truly discover that Grace is a gift from God, totally not conditional on our performance, then it frees us to live under him and rejoice. Another great passage to refer to is Colossians 2:20-23 it reads: “Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings.”
Paul tells us that these self-imposed rules may appear to be wise, but have no success in battling sin. The one thing that overcomes sin is Love. The only thing that matters is grace working through us in the form of love (Galatians 5:6). The fruit of the grace is described in Galatians 5:22-25: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
The beginning of the Spirit means the end of the law. Live in Grace. Enjoy God’s gift to you through His son, Jesus Christ. If you haven’t experienced this freedom, accept Christ’s sacrifice as a gift right now, by allowing him to be Lord of your life.
"You see, real freedom is not the liberty to do what we want, or even the absence of distress. Real freedom is the deep-seated confidence that God really will provide everything we need. The person who believes this is the freest of all persons on earth, because no matter what situation they find themselves in, they have nothing to fear."- Jon Bloom (www.desiringgod.org) -ZW
Friday, May 23, 2008
Two months to the day
Hey all,
It's been two months since I last posted. So much has happened, but then again, not too much.
I'm no longer a collegiate baseball player, my 4 years are up. So, alas, i'm just a good ole ordinary college student, maybe even a future intramural champion, who knows.
I'll be back in Maryville for the fall for my last round of classes, which are about half joke classes (ex. golf, officiating baseball).
Right now, however, i'm in North Kansas City with Ben and Noah, doing the internship thing downtown. I work at Rensenhouse Electrical Supply. They sell and distribute electrical supplies throughout the greater KC area, and pull in about 40 million a year...yeah.
I recently went to a sales seminar with my bosses and the salesman and found out, my heart is not in sales. I could manage I think, but I really don't want to spend my professional career selling stuff. We have a great product, very high quality and practical, but i'm not sure. It's something I'll have to search out from God.
Lately I've been affirmed that maybe I should do something with fulltime ministry. I don't know, maybe not, but FCA seems to call on my heart quite a bit. I don't feel called to be a pastor, because I haven't felt that calling in my heart, and I know it's a deep calling, and a tough road.
The weather is nice, finally, but I think spring is over and it's straight to summer. I'm looking forward to what all i'm doing this summer.
-Weekly Softball team (yeah, slowpitch)
-Christian Conference June 6-8 in Warrensburg
-Work Conference June 10-12 in Chicago (seeing a cubbies game too)
-Maybe some golf?
-Maybe volunteer with FCA?
But, those are some of the various things I am looking forward to.
Most of all though, i'm just really waiting to see what God has for me. The Lord is really the only thing I have to live for at this point, and really always was. I desire to live out everything I do through Him and to His glory.
I really really really really want some victory in my life over some particular sins. I'm really quite disgusted that i continue to carry these with me. It seems like the more i'm in the word, the more i'm fortified against the enemy (go figure..) But just depending on the day, i'm at different levels of disgust with it. Sometimes my head finds a way to shut off and not protect me from it, but then follows deep disgust and hatred for myself and my weakness. I know that when we are weak then God is strongest in our lives, so I guess i'm doing well at that.
I really struggle with the fact I try to minister to people and show the gospel through my lifestyle and then have these private sins that hardly anyone know about. I feel very Pharisee-like in that.
I truly take heed to the Lord and realize he is very serious about sin. I'm ready to throw down on it, so I guess that is my next step.
I live on a steady diet these days of John Piper and Paul Washer.
That's life for me right now, a little restricted on content, but the basics.
-I hope this post somehow brings Glory to the one who sent his Son to die for me. It's all about you Jesus.
It's been two months since I last posted. So much has happened, but then again, not too much.
I'm no longer a collegiate baseball player, my 4 years are up. So, alas, i'm just a good ole ordinary college student, maybe even a future intramural champion, who knows.
I'll be back in Maryville for the fall for my last round of classes, which are about half joke classes (ex. golf, officiating baseball).
Right now, however, i'm in North Kansas City with Ben and Noah, doing the internship thing downtown. I work at Rensenhouse Electrical Supply. They sell and distribute electrical supplies throughout the greater KC area, and pull in about 40 million a year...yeah.
I recently went to a sales seminar with my bosses and the salesman and found out, my heart is not in sales. I could manage I think, but I really don't want to spend my professional career selling stuff. We have a great product, very high quality and practical, but i'm not sure. It's something I'll have to search out from God.
Lately I've been affirmed that maybe I should do something with fulltime ministry. I don't know, maybe not, but FCA seems to call on my heart quite a bit. I don't feel called to be a pastor, because I haven't felt that calling in my heart, and I know it's a deep calling, and a tough road.
The weather is nice, finally, but I think spring is over and it's straight to summer. I'm looking forward to what all i'm doing this summer.
-Weekly Softball team (yeah, slowpitch)
-Christian Conference June 6-8 in Warrensburg
-Work Conference June 10-12 in Chicago (seeing a cubbies game too)
-Maybe some golf?
-Maybe volunteer with FCA?
But, those are some of the various things I am looking forward to.
Most of all though, i'm just really waiting to see what God has for me. The Lord is really the only thing I have to live for at this point, and really always was. I desire to live out everything I do through Him and to His glory.
I really really really really want some victory in my life over some particular sins. I'm really quite disgusted that i continue to carry these with me. It seems like the more i'm in the word, the more i'm fortified against the enemy (go figure..) But just depending on the day, i'm at different levels of disgust with it. Sometimes my head finds a way to shut off and not protect me from it, but then follows deep disgust and hatred for myself and my weakness. I know that when we are weak then God is strongest in our lives, so I guess i'm doing well at that.
I really struggle with the fact I try to minister to people and show the gospel through my lifestyle and then have these private sins that hardly anyone know about. I feel very Pharisee-like in that.
I truly take heed to the Lord and realize he is very serious about sin. I'm ready to throw down on it, so I guess that is my next step.
I live on a steady diet these days of John Piper and Paul Washer.
That's life for me right now, a little restricted on content, but the basics.
-I hope this post somehow brings Glory to the one who sent his Son to die for me. It's all about you Jesus.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I am so thankful for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, leaving the world not in anguish, or hopeless, or lost, but with the full knowledge of who we are and what our destiny is....Praise be to God for His Son and His Word!
I have been listening, if you have followed my notes, to Paul Washer. He is a fire and brimstone type Baptist preacher, at least in the messages I've listened to, who are aimed at a church in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. He contends that it is harder to be a Christian in Alabama than in Russia and North Korea, because at least in those countries you know where people stand.
I for one have been in tears more than once thinking about some people I know that I fear have not been born again, but only conformed to "church behavior." John 3:3 In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again. "
People may say they profess Christ academically in their mind, but God has not done his work in them, because there is no real strong evidence they have passed from death unto life. Others will say that their hearts tell them it's true, but the Bible says the heart is deceptive in Jeremiah. You are not saved because you said a prayer half heartedly, you aren't saved because you went forward in church or filled out a card. You aren't saved because you were baptized. We are saved by grace by faith in Christ...not by good works.
What exactly do I mean? Well, to be Born again, means that you have received Jesus Christ as your personal savior, meaning that the Holy Spirit has convicted you of your sins, leading you to repent (both confess and turn away form your sins).
The Holy Spirit is the third part of the Trinity (the others being the father and the son). The Holy Spirit is the helper that Jesus promised to leave behind when he left. He empowers us to do his will, and make disciples. When we are born again, we receive the Holy Spirit, literally. The Holy Spirit, or Ghost, is a literal being.
It seems that Jesus is very adimate that we know the truth concerning following him. One of the most scary passages in the Bible is Matthew 7:13-14 13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Jesus Says only a few find the narrow gate, which is of course, belief in Him. He also adds narrow is the road that leads to life.Right after that passage Jesus goes on to show who false prophets are and says you will know them by their fruit. What kind of fruit do we have? Jesus says not everyone who says Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, only he that does his will.
Does this mean that after we are saved we have to keep all the commandments and be perfect? No, because that is impossible. But, we will know his will when we are born again, at which time the Holy Spirit enters us. Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you WERE SEALED FOR THE DAY OF REDEMPTION. (once we have the spirit, we are sealed!) This also is repeated by Jesus when he says no one will snatch those who are saved out of his hands.
Paul knows that many believe they are saved but are deceived, as he writes in 2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?" He tells us to test ourselves!!! In John's first epistle, he goes in length of part of that test....1 John 5:13 "13I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."
Among the tests in the book, which I suggest you read personally if led, says those that do not love his brothers does not hold the truth, those who say they have no sin, those who do not say Jesus was 100 percent flesh and 100 percent God don't have the truth. A statement that is very convicting is 1 John 3:7 Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work. 9No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.
Now, does this mean we are going to be perfect, NO. But if we continue in sin and do not abandon it through conviction of the Holy Spirit the truth is not in us. Yes, we have freedom, through the Spirit.
1 John 1:8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
OK, this has been long...thanks for sticking in....
1 John 1. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.I wont quote 1 John anymore, but know this... Jesus can, and will forgive us, if we genuinely wish to follow Him.
Personally, i'm not so sure that I haven't recently been saved...seriously. I lived so long going for personal gain, in vain. What good is it that I gain the whole world and lose my soul? NONE! I know one thing for sure...sin has a different meaning in my life. Paul Washer states in his sermons that when people say they have a new relationship with God, he asks them if they have a new relationship with sin. Are you free of sin? Do you hate sin?
I just hope you took the time to read this, and then were either convicted of sin, or reaffirmed of your faith. I suggest if you are battling with this, read up some more on it. Here are some links that have helped me battle with these tough scriptures....
Paul Washer's sermons on salvation (also try youtubing "Paul Washer")http://www.heartcrymissionary.com/resources/sermons/paul_washer#biblical_assurance_series
John Piper's thoughts
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/1985/487_If_Our_Hearts_Do_Not_Condemn_Us_We_Have_Confidence_Before_God
If any of you have any personal questions, please let me know! I love you all, which is why I write these things. It is time to become Kingdom people! Jesus LIVES! He is faithful to forgive you! Live for Him, it's all thats worth living for. God Bless You all!
I have been listening, if you have followed my notes, to Paul Washer. He is a fire and brimstone type Baptist preacher, at least in the messages I've listened to, who are aimed at a church in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. He contends that it is harder to be a Christian in Alabama than in Russia and North Korea, because at least in those countries you know where people stand.
I for one have been in tears more than once thinking about some people I know that I fear have not been born again, but only conformed to "church behavior." John 3:3 In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again. "
People may say they profess Christ academically in their mind, but God has not done his work in them, because there is no real strong evidence they have passed from death unto life. Others will say that their hearts tell them it's true, but the Bible says the heart is deceptive in Jeremiah. You are not saved because you said a prayer half heartedly, you aren't saved because you went forward in church or filled out a card. You aren't saved because you were baptized. We are saved by grace by faith in Christ...not by good works.
What exactly do I mean? Well, to be Born again, means that you have received Jesus Christ as your personal savior, meaning that the Holy Spirit has convicted you of your sins, leading you to repent (both confess and turn away form your sins).
The Holy Spirit is the third part of the Trinity (the others being the father and the son). The Holy Spirit is the helper that Jesus promised to leave behind when he left. He empowers us to do his will, and make disciples. When we are born again, we receive the Holy Spirit, literally. The Holy Spirit, or Ghost, is a literal being.
It seems that Jesus is very adimate that we know the truth concerning following him. One of the most scary passages in the Bible is Matthew 7:13-14 13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Jesus Says only a few find the narrow gate, which is of course, belief in Him. He also adds narrow is the road that leads to life.Right after that passage Jesus goes on to show who false prophets are and says you will know them by their fruit. What kind of fruit do we have? Jesus says not everyone who says Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, only he that does his will.
Does this mean that after we are saved we have to keep all the commandments and be perfect? No, because that is impossible. But, we will know his will when we are born again, at which time the Holy Spirit enters us. Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you WERE SEALED FOR THE DAY OF REDEMPTION. (once we have the spirit, we are sealed!) This also is repeated by Jesus when he says no one will snatch those who are saved out of his hands.
Paul knows that many believe they are saved but are deceived, as he writes in 2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?" He tells us to test ourselves!!! In John's first epistle, he goes in length of part of that test....1 John 5:13 "13I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life."
Among the tests in the book, which I suggest you read personally if led, says those that do not love his brothers does not hold the truth, those who say they have no sin, those who do not say Jesus was 100 percent flesh and 100 percent God don't have the truth. A statement that is very convicting is 1 John 3:7 Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work. 9No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.
Now, does this mean we are going to be perfect, NO. But if we continue in sin and do not abandon it through conviction of the Holy Spirit the truth is not in us. Yes, we have freedom, through the Spirit.
1 John 1:8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
OK, this has been long...thanks for sticking in....
1 John 1. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.I wont quote 1 John anymore, but know this... Jesus can, and will forgive us, if we genuinely wish to follow Him.
Personally, i'm not so sure that I haven't recently been saved...seriously. I lived so long going for personal gain, in vain. What good is it that I gain the whole world and lose my soul? NONE! I know one thing for sure...sin has a different meaning in my life. Paul Washer states in his sermons that when people say they have a new relationship with God, he asks them if they have a new relationship with sin. Are you free of sin? Do you hate sin?
I just hope you took the time to read this, and then were either convicted of sin, or reaffirmed of your faith. I suggest if you are battling with this, read up some more on it. Here are some links that have helped me battle with these tough scriptures....
Paul Washer's sermons on salvation (also try youtubing "Paul Washer")http://www.heartcrymissionary.com/resources/sermons/paul_washer#biblical_assurance_series
John Piper's thoughts
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/1985/487_If_Our_Hearts_Do_Not_Condemn_Us_We_Have_Confidence_Before_God
If any of you have any personal questions, please let me know! I love you all, which is why I write these things. It is time to become Kingdom people! Jesus LIVES! He is faithful to forgive you! Live for Him, it's all thats worth living for. God Bless You all!
Monday, March 17, 2008
I have been in some up and downs lately, and in the end, I know that God will be glorified.
Yesterday really sucked, because I was pitching in practice, hoping to turn some heads and get some attention from coach that I could get some more innings. Not the results i was looking for. I threw an inside pitch to our starting catcher and he was bunting. He just barely tipped the ball, probably traveling between 82-84 mph, and it went into his mouth, knocking out a tooth, and distributing all of the other ones all over his mouth. It was awful. After that I just gave up hit after hit, so it is very possible I pitched my last game as a Bearcat. I will still be waiting for an opportunity, but I wouldn't pitch me if the game was anywhere close to on the line. Ugh.
I will find a way to Praise God through this, but it's tough.
Spiritually, i've been awakened to the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. I was raised in a conservative denomination, and we never really talked about gifts of the Holy Spirit. I have recently listened a lot to Calvary Chapel radio, good ole KRSS Tarkio, and also a new church plant in town. It has been really good and good to build up my faith.
I have also just really become completely abandoned from what I used to want. I know that it's worth nothing. The American dream, the collaboration of stuff, just isn't worth it. God is great though, and I'm so so so so thankful for Jesus's sacrifice on the cross. Grace is so beautiful.
I have been listening to some fire and brimstone Baptist preaching which has convicted and inspired me. If you have some time on your hands, here is the link.
http://www.heartcrymissionary.com/resources/sermons/paul_washer
As you can read, it's Paul Washer, who is kind of notorious for being a hard preacher, but I think his message is something we can learn from. So, I hope maybe it blesses you. I would suggest "examine yourself" or "the narrow way" but they are all good. Very very conservative messages, but good.
God continues to prune me for his service, and it's painful, but in the long run, i'm sure it will be better for me.
God is Love
Yesterday really sucked, because I was pitching in practice, hoping to turn some heads and get some attention from coach that I could get some more innings. Not the results i was looking for. I threw an inside pitch to our starting catcher and he was bunting. He just barely tipped the ball, probably traveling between 82-84 mph, and it went into his mouth, knocking out a tooth, and distributing all of the other ones all over his mouth. It was awful. After that I just gave up hit after hit, so it is very possible I pitched my last game as a Bearcat. I will still be waiting for an opportunity, but I wouldn't pitch me if the game was anywhere close to on the line. Ugh.
I will find a way to Praise God through this, but it's tough.
Spiritually, i've been awakened to the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. I was raised in a conservative denomination, and we never really talked about gifts of the Holy Spirit. I have recently listened a lot to Calvary Chapel radio, good ole KRSS Tarkio, and also a new church plant in town. It has been really good and good to build up my faith.
I have also just really become completely abandoned from what I used to want. I know that it's worth nothing. The American dream, the collaboration of stuff, just isn't worth it. God is great though, and I'm so so so so thankful for Jesus's sacrifice on the cross. Grace is so beautiful.
I have been listening to some fire and brimstone Baptist preaching which has convicted and inspired me. If you have some time on your hands, here is the link.
http://www.heartcrymissionary.com/resources/sermons/paul_washer
As you can read, it's Paul Washer, who is kind of notorious for being a hard preacher, but I think his message is something we can learn from. So, I hope maybe it blesses you. I would suggest "examine yourself" or "the narrow way" but they are all good. Very very conservative messages, but good.
God continues to prune me for his service, and it's painful, but in the long run, i'm sure it will be better for me.
God is Love
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