Two months to the day

Hey all,

It's been two months since I last posted. So much has happened, but then again, not too much.

I'm no longer a collegiate baseball player, my 4 years are up. So, alas, i'm just a good ole ordinary college student, maybe even a future intramural champion, who knows.

I'll be back in Maryville for the fall for my last round of classes, which are about half joke classes (ex. golf, officiating baseball).

Right now, however, i'm in North Kansas City with Ben and Noah, doing the internship thing downtown. I work at Rensenhouse Electrical Supply. They sell and distribute electrical supplies throughout the greater KC area, and pull in about 40 million a year...yeah.

I recently went to a sales seminar with my bosses and the salesman and found out, my heart is not in sales. I could manage I think, but I really don't want to spend my professional career selling stuff. We have a great product, very high quality and practical, but i'm not sure. It's something I'll have to search out from God.

Lately I've been affirmed that maybe I should do something with fulltime ministry. I don't know, maybe not, but FCA seems to call on my heart quite a bit. I don't feel called to be a pastor, because I haven't felt that calling in my heart, and I know it's a deep calling, and a tough road.

The weather is nice, finally, but I think spring is over and it's straight to summer. I'm looking forward to what all i'm doing this summer.

-Weekly Softball team (yeah, slowpitch)
-Christian Conference June 6-8 in Warrensburg
-Work Conference June 10-12 in Chicago (seeing a cubbies game too)
-Maybe some golf?
-Maybe volunteer with FCA?

But, those are some of the various things I am looking forward to.

Most of all though, i'm just really waiting to see what God has for me. The Lord is really the only thing I have to live for at this point, and really always was. I desire to live out everything I do through Him and to His glory.

I really really really really want some victory in my life over some particular sins. I'm really quite disgusted that i continue to carry these with me. It seems like the more i'm in the word, the more i'm fortified against the enemy (go figure..) But just depending on the day, i'm at different levels of disgust with it. Sometimes my head finds a way to shut off and not protect me from it, but then follows deep disgust and hatred for myself and my weakness. I know that when we are weak then God is strongest in our lives, so I guess i'm doing well at that.

I really struggle with the fact I try to minister to people and show the gospel through my lifestyle and then have these private sins that hardly anyone know about. I feel very Pharisee-like in that.

I truly take heed to the Lord and realize he is very serious about sin. I'm ready to throw down on it, so I guess that is my next step.

I live on a steady diet these days of John Piper and Paul Washer.

That's life for me right now, a little restricted on content, but the basics.

-I hope this post somehow brings Glory to the one who sent his Son to die for me. It's all about you Jesus.