Valley of Sorrow to River of JOY!

I think it is really important to note the rejoicing I have found after such a hard few weeks. God has made some things very apparent to me, and they all came at perfect times. I will humbly say that another attack may be headed my way, but I still need to set the record straight.

Over the past week, I have sought God as hard as I could and have found him for sure. I heard an excellent message at one of the campus ministries. Romans 8:38-40 is what I heard, which is what is written at the bottom of my blog. Nothing can separate us from the Love of Jesus Christ.

Then, i was searching out fruits of the spirit, to for sure know I'm his,and I found what to me, is like a fresh, new realm of spirituality. Those gifts that are never talked about in Baptist church, but scripturally have no reason to believe they don't occur anymore. Friends have been telling me that they have witnessed the Holy Spirit do supernatural things. Tongues, healing, interpretation, and God keeps sending these people to me when I have questions. It has been so refreshing.

Paul even instructs us to seek these gifts. That could be why we dont' see these gifts in the Baptist Church, because they don't believe they still occur since the forming of the Bible. Which they relate to 1 Corinthians 13. Not so though.

Either way, i have just been digging deep (and if you are curious, root through the word! 1 Corinthians 12-14 is where a lot of it goes down) and of course, the book of Acts.

I have once again, that peace that resides in the heart of God's children. I am loving it, not life on earth, but being in God's hands. I will continue to seek God diligently and wait on him to work on me and work through me the way he desires. I desire to live in God's will. Finally! Praise the Lord for the Valley of Sorrow to the River of JOY!!!!

I also jammed out this week, a life song to me is "East to the West" by Casting Crowns. What a great song! Have a great week, and seek First His Kingdom!

Dark

So, i'm in this, and have been in a while.

This pit of deep darkness in my mind. I cannot get happy. I cannot feel set free by Christ. I cannot just let go and let God.

I have been on my knees day and night pleading and petitioning God to free me from these dark thoughts. I know that I am nothing on my own, and that I need God more than ever right now. It is such an ugly place, and I don't know how I got here. I remember just weeks ago when I would rejoice in God's creation and splendor, and the victories he'd give me in classes, the baseball field, and just overall.

He has provided so much for me, i have the "charmed life" that most dream of. Yet, i feel so destitute. In my life, in the past 3 years, i have prayed "the prayer" probably 100 times. Usually I get spiritual renewal, but right now, I feel so captive. What does this mean? What should I do? Where should I go?

I want to be used by Christ, to be sold out completely. I am definitely no longer subject to any other thing on this earth. Christ is life. God is good. He is also righteous and just. He is also loving and forgiving.

Was the period of time I was happy before this in coorelation to being oblivious to the people everyday who needed God around me? Was it just pure selfish ambition? I think that definitely has to play a role.

I just feel so alone inside, not on the outside. I have had so many friends talk, pray, and encourage me along the way.

I guess for so long I trusted Christ, yet didn't rely completely on him. Man, if it is one thing that I have gotten out of this deal, it is reliance upon God. I can't be saved by any man, anything a man has said, only God and his Holy Word and Spirit. There is nothing any of us can do to inherit the Kingdom of God, only what God does for us.

I want to bear good fruit only, and further His Kingdom. I'm so sick and tired of myself. I don't want myself anymore. I truly know now what it means to not be friends with this world. I think for the longest time, I was friends with the world. No longer.

"I need you Jesus, to come to my rescue,
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved!
Capture me with your Grace, I will follow You!

This world has nothing for me, it can offer me nothing that lasts, nothing but what withers and fades. It only offers me disappointment and hardship.

With God all things are possible, it's time to put all my trust in Him!

Pray for me, pray for all of those who don't know Him! Right now, not later!

Intro

Hey there friends and fellow people.

I haven't blogged in a long time, but I'm looking to get back into it. I'll hopefully get this online and cracking in time for baseball season. God Bless...